In my personal journey, I am guilty of not staying on a particular course for a longer period of time. I have always been an inconsistent person in many things, be it writing these blogs, making youtube videos, learning french, etc. Trust me the list would go on for a while.
The reason for this I thought was that I always felt that I was not a disciplined person, or I did not take the work that I did seriously. I constantly made new plans, and new work schedules experimented with different styles of working, and read god knows how many self-help books on it. I went through it all thinking it was my working style that came in the way of being a consistent creator.
That was about to change!
Recently I came to a realization after my conversation with many interesting people, My fellow director friends, my friend who is a YouTuber, and my elder brother. One thing that was common in all these conversations was them pointing out that I don't stick to the process. To which I countered by saying "I do" following it up with some of the examples and my perspective on what could be the problem that is leading to inconsistency.
To my surprise, they weren't convinced and they still felt I was not sticking to the process. That's when it hit me, the work style always seems to work properly for a week and sometimes even for a month, but eventually, it just goes away.
The funny thing about the self-help books is they show how to do stuff but barely mention how much to do it.
Growth has always been my priority, be it personal growth, skill growth, or career growth. Whenever I followed a certain routine I went to expand as soon as I got a hint of me getting a hang of it. EXPAND! "The funny thing about the self-help books is they show how to do stuff but barely mention how much to do it."
Somehow the problem with my inconsistency had nothing to do with the work style but my trust issues.
Yes! Trust issues.
I did not seem to ever trust the process. Whenever I got a hang of it I went and expanded the work. Never really let the routine set in.
If I made 2 videos in a week for 2 weeks, I always went and tried to make 3 the next week. Not realizing that I still needed time to properly let the routine set and for my brain and body to get accustomed to it. This happened because I thought that this is what growth is. Constantly pushing the limits. All I needed was to practice and trust the process.
What I plan to do now
Firstly, change how I perceive growth. I have to start thinking less and doing more. And secondly, give time to my mind and body to get used to the routine and that means trusting the process. Not to worry about the future and only think about the very next step.
Not being able to stick to the process is the result of overthinking and the main takeaway from this realization is to think less. Use that brain power in the work rather than what will happen to it in the coming months or even years. I understand it's important to have awareness of the future but it's more important to focus on the next step.
This is very well said in the Bhagavad Gita,
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥ २-४७
Your right is to perform your work, but never to the results. Never be motivated by the results of your actions, nor should you be attached to not performing your prescribed duties.
Have patience and trust the process, my friend!